One
day in
December
before
Christmas
in 2002,
my
friend
Chris
opened
the
front
door
where I
had a
wreath
for the
holidays
and a
tiny
sparrow
flew
into my
house.
Immediately
I
thought
of this
as a
harbinger
of
death.
This is
something
that my
Grandma
always
spoke of
when I
was
little,
that
when a
bird
flies
into
your
house or
comes to
your
window
it is a
sign of
death. I
did not
want to
believe
it, nor
do I
believe
it to
this
day, but
for some
strange
reason I
have to
come to
think of
it's
significance
to me
now.
It
took
over
three
hours to
get the
bird to
fly out
a
window,
he was
so tiny
and was
actually
tired
and
almost
came to
me to
allow me
to let
him
free.
Finally
he was
gone and
I didn't
want to
speak of
my
Grandmother's
old
wives
tale. I
kept
saying,
"oh it
was just
a baby"
"It must
be good
luck" ~
but in
my heart
I felt a
feeling
of
dread.
It
was just
two
weeks
after
that
that I
learned
of my
sister's
cancer
and it
only
took six
weeks
for her
to leave
the
earth.
At this
time I
was not
thinking
about
the bird
that
flew
into the
house
until I
looked
up at a
floral
piece I
had
between
my
kitchen
and
dining
room and
it was
still
out of
place
because
the
little
sparrow
was
landing
there.
As
the days
went on
and
months
after my
sister
was gone
I found
out that
her
eldest
daughter
Maddie,
then 42,
was
diagnosed
with
cancer.
We had
so much
hope
that her
cancer
would be
the one
that we
could
successfully
treat
but as
time
went on,
all the
setbacks
and
chances
were not
there
for her.
We
struggled
through
chemo
and
radiation
only to
find
that she
would
need to
have an
experimental
treatment
done.
That day
when I
went to
pick her
up to
take her
for this
ten
minute
infusion
of the
experimental
drug I
found
that she
had a
massive
stroke.
As
the day
for the
experimental
treatment
arrived
I kept
hearing
a
tapping
or a
thumping
on my
window
in my
computer
room. I
could
not
imagine
what
this
noise
was, so
finally
one day
I pushed
the
curtains
aside
and saw
a little
sparrow
clinging
to the
small
metal
that
surrounded
the
window.
I do not
have
windows
with
sills
outside,
they are
sort of
flushed
to the
house.
The bird
was
pecking
at my
window,
and even
though I
walked
up to
the
window,
thinking
it would
scare
him
away, it
did not.
I kept
getting
this
foreboding
feeling
once
again. I
told my
husband
who
really
is a
believer
of these
old
wives
tales
and he
said "oh
don't be
silly
honey"
... so
once
again I
let it
go.
The
sparrow
kept
coming
to my
window
two and
three
times a
day,
knocking
as if to
say he
wanted
to come
in and I
tried
not to
think
about it
but it
was
weighing
heavily
on my
mind.
After
two
weeks of
this
constant
knocking
my
Maddie's
husband
called
me up to
tell me
that he
was
bringing
Maddie
home to
die. My
heart
was
broken
but I
realized
that
this is
the way
it had
to be.
At that
time I
was
thinking
that my
Grandma's
old
wives
tale was
indeed
something
to put
stock
into.
That
day I
drove to
their
house
and
helped
him set
up for
Maddie,
I went
there
each day
to help
out as
much as
I could.
Each day
I walked
over to
my
Maddie
and told
her I
loved
her and
she said
"I love
you
too." On
August 3
Maddie
opened
her eyes
and I
told her
"It's
me, Aunt
Fra" and
she
nodded
and
smiled
at me. I
started
to say
my usual
"I love
you" but
when I
said "I"
she said
"love"
and I
said
"you"
... that
was the
last
words we
spoke.
That
evening
I came
home
with a
heavy
heart. I
knew
that it
was time
for
Maddie
to go.
That
night I
could
not
sleep
and
heard
the bird
at my
window
at 3
a.m. in
the
morning.
I
decided
to get
dressed
and
ready to
go at
this
ungodly
hour.
The bird
was
knocking
still.
At 6
a.m. I
received
a call
from
Maddie's
husband.
He said
"I think
our
Maddie
is
leaving
us" ~ I
was
already
dressed
and
quickly
left the
house.
As I was
getting
into my
car a
feather
flew
down in
front of
the car.
I
noticed
it but I
didn't think
about it
for too
long. I
drove 12
miles to
Maddie's
house
and she
had just
passed.
I think
as I was
speaking
to her
she was
able to
hear
that
final "I
love
you."
The
children
and her
husband
and I
were
standing
around
her and
then we
made
arrangements
for her
to
leave.
My
car was
parked
in the
driveway
and I
called
my
friend
Chris to
come and
get the
children.
When
they
gathered
their
belongings
to go to
my house
we
walked
outside
together.
Little
Donnie
went to
get
something
that was
stuck to
the
grate of
my car.
It was
the
feather
that had
fallen
from in
front of
my
house.
It made
it
through
all
those
miles to
Maddie's
house
and did
not even
fall off
the
grate
until
her son
took it
off.
When
he
handed
me the
feather
it had a
new
significance
for me
and it
no
longer
had
a foreboding
connotation
to it.
It was
Maddie
telling
me that
she was
okay and
that she
had
gotten
her
wings
and that
now no
matter
where we
were in
life she
would
always
be
beside
me. I
will
keep
that
feather
next to
Maddie's
picture
and the
memory
of
Maddie
will
stay in
our
lives
for all
the
years to
come.
